It's a new year....
So one of my goals for the new year is to actually keep up with this thing....I completley suck at it! I have a few other goals, too, including: cutting back on eating out, paying off my credit cards, and getting and staying organized. So far I've been good on the eating out part....I haven't had fast food in over a week! I'm working on the other two....I'm trying to get my room in order for school starts and that is way more of a task than I originally anticipated.
So much has happened in the past few months and my outlook on life has totally changed. The big one that really shook me was when Jess got engaged to her boyfriend. It didn't help my raging jealousy when my coworkers continuously asked me when I was going to "get a ring". I love Jess and John together and I am so happy for them, but it has really made me realize in the past couple of weeks that things around me are changing. Drastically. April is graduated and has a 9-5 job, and now has her boyfriend living with her. Jess and John are busy planning a wedding, honeymoon, buying a house, and basically starting their lives together. My old roommate I have hardly even talked to since she also has a 9-5 and a boyfriend who should be popping the question anytime now. This leaves me......with my boyfriend, who I love, still in school, still moving from apartment to apartment, still wanting to go out and party but I no longer have anyone to do it with. I guess it's just been wierd for me....being younger than my friends never really made any difference until now....when everyone is moving on to a different phase in their life and I'm stuck back here.
Everyone tells me that growing up isn't that great, don't rush it. But I'm starting to get sick of where I am right now. I hate my job. HATE IT. I'm so tired of the way people treat me as a server. The only positive is I've recently started bartending a little bit and that has helped break up the repetitiveness of serving. I'm looking at moving, again, which might turn into a good thing. I will probably be with two of my coworkers in their townhouse...my rent is going to go down about $200 a month and I love these girls. They are still in school, not even close to getting married, still like to party, still like to go out and do things just the girls...so maybe this will be good for me. Also going back to school will help me fill my time with things besides Firebirds and board games. I've really missed my classmates and I hope that I have some of my favorites in my classes this semester.
All of this was bothering me but I couldn't really disect what exactly it was that was making me so....depressed. But now that I've figured it out I'm better able to accept the fact that I still have a while before I have to grow up. I hope that my friends that are moving on will continue to keep in touch and not forget me completley in their busy schedules....but I'm looking forward to my last year as a college student and really living it up.
Yesterday a guest at the bar gave me the best advice that really struck home:
Getting older is a fact of life....growing up is optional.
I'm not quite ready to grow up yet. I'm getting there, but it's just not my time yet.
So much has happened in the past few months and my outlook on life has totally changed. The big one that really shook me was when Jess got engaged to her boyfriend. It didn't help my raging jealousy when my coworkers continuously asked me when I was going to "get a ring". I love Jess and John together and I am so happy for them, but it has really made me realize in the past couple of weeks that things around me are changing. Drastically. April is graduated and has a 9-5 job, and now has her boyfriend living with her. Jess and John are busy planning a wedding, honeymoon, buying a house, and basically starting their lives together. My old roommate I have hardly even talked to since she also has a 9-5 and a boyfriend who should be popping the question anytime now. This leaves me......with my boyfriend, who I love, still in school, still moving from apartment to apartment, still wanting to go out and party but I no longer have anyone to do it with. I guess it's just been wierd for me....being younger than my friends never really made any difference until now....when everyone is moving on to a different phase in their life and I'm stuck back here.
Everyone tells me that growing up isn't that great, don't rush it. But I'm starting to get sick of where I am right now. I hate my job. HATE IT. I'm so tired of the way people treat me as a server. The only positive is I've recently started bartending a little bit and that has helped break up the repetitiveness of serving. I'm looking at moving, again, which might turn into a good thing. I will probably be with two of my coworkers in their townhouse...my rent is going to go down about $200 a month and I love these girls. They are still in school, not even close to getting married, still like to party, still like to go out and do things just the girls...so maybe this will be good for me. Also going back to school will help me fill my time with things besides Firebirds and board games. I've really missed my classmates and I hope that I have some of my favorites in my classes this semester.
All of this was bothering me but I couldn't really disect what exactly it was that was making me so....depressed. But now that I've figured it out I'm better able to accept the fact that I still have a while before I have to grow up. I hope that my friends that are moving on will continue to keep in touch and not forget me completley in their busy schedules....but I'm looking forward to my last year as a college student and really living it up.
Yesterday a guest at the bar gave me the best advice that really struck home:
Getting older is a fact of life....growing up is optional.
I'm not quite ready to grow up yet. I'm getting there, but it's just not my time yet.
posted by Jessica @ 6:06 AM
2 Comments:
At 10:58 AM,
Anonymous said…
For what its worth, my best friend is married. I was over at his place eating the other day and I looked at the group of us, and realized there were 3 married couples, me, and a lesbian. It was bizarre.
Having your friends move on to parts of their lives that you aren't at yet can be difficult, but its still a lot of fun. Challenge your married/engaged friends to still be cool and fun. Kendra lets Chris go out with the guys and do fun stuff, and we haven't let it get in the way.
There's hope :) And hell, at least you've got the awesome boyfriend you still love. As long as you're not anxiously awaiting hte ring yourself, it makes watching everyone else be happy much easier.
At 11:10 PM,
Jeff McAleer said…
Randomly enough, I was signed in last time and it posted my comment as anonymous . . . It also says this blog doesn't allow anonymous comments, but somehow it posted that way
Anyway, its Jeff :)
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